A Poem from James to Lily (5th Year)
by Little Miss Invisible
Summary: A Poem on how James felt after all of Lily's rejections and after the incident in 5th year by the Black Lake. Contains a bit of angst. I do not own Harry Potter. JK Rowling does.


Angst Contest Entry Jily poem Lily's rejections

She doesn't see the way I love her so

She doesn't see the way my heart breaks with every no

She doesn't see the way the hope dies in my eyes

She doesn't see past any of my lies

I lie that I'm okay about her rejection

I just shrug off every painful mention

I pretend that it doesn't bother me

When it tears me up where no one can see

I pretend that I'm still fine and that I don't care

I pretend like I deserved it, that it was fair

I pretend like it doesn't matter

And I just tell them that I'll try again later

I try again and again and yet she still doesn't understand

This isn't a game for me; I truly am trying to win her hand

I love her and I just wish she knew how I truly felt

So that she'd understand how painful was the blows she dealt

I wish that she would realize that I'm not joking

I wish that she would realize how much I'm hurting

Her rejections cut me just a little deeper every time

And it hurts that she wouldn't even consider being mine

I love her even if she doesn't love me

I'll love her no matter what she thinks of me

I've loved her since I met her and maybe even before that

I wish that she would realize that this wouldn't pass with the drop of a hat

I'm serious about gaining her love and affection

No matter how many times I must suffer from the rejection

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

I just want her to know how much I love her even if I have to sing it in a song

I love you Lily Evans no matter what you think

This isn't a passing fancy that'll come and go in a blink

I love you even if you can't love me

And I'll do anything to make you happy

You've just screamed at me for hurting your friend

You've just screamed at me for causing your friendship to end

I know that what I did was wrong and awful

I hope you know that this wasn't my plan; I'm not that spiteful

I'll give you some space since I know that you can't stand me

I leave you alone now even if it hurts me painfully

I'll force myself away from you just to keep you happy

And I'll even stop pranking your dear old ex-friend Snivelly

I've changed so much not only because of you

I'm trying to be better; you just don't notice what's true

They've changed and so have I

They'll be on the streets soon, causing people to die

I know you don't want to believe that this is true

But your friend is no longer the friend that you knew

He's been calling you that word far longer than you know

But I know it must have been hard for you though

I'll be here for you, waiting for you to notice me

The real me I hide, not the mask that you see

I love you even if you don't love me

And it hurts knowing that one day, I'll have to set you free

One day, you'll be walking down the aisle to meet someone who isn't me

One day, you'll be happy and it's not me causing your glee

One day, you'll be in love and I can only wish that it would be me

One day, I'll leave your life knowing someone else will keep you happy

I know you love Shakespeare and you love Roald Dahl

I know you love the rain and I know your favorite season is fall

I know about your obsession with the Beatles and the Jackson 5

I know how much you wish your dad was still alive

I know things about you that others don't

I'm willing to do things that others won't

This comes at no price because I love you just the same

I just wish that you'd call me at least once by my proper name

I dream about a future with you

One which I hope would someday come true

But in my current situation, it'll stay a fantasy

Who knows? Maybe one day, it'll be reality

You stare at me now, wondering what heinous plot I'm creating

But honestly, I see how much you are hurting

And it hurts me to know I can do nothing to ease the suffering

Partly because I caused it, partly because of our fighting

I love you and I wish I could comfort you

But all I can do is offer words that are true

You're better off without him; you and I both know it's true

But even I can admit I don't deserve you

You're an angel from heaven and I'm sinner begging for mercy

No matter what I do you're out of my league, you're above me

I love you and I wish that you'd realize that

I love you and I can state this as a fact

I'd treat you right and I'd fight for you

Even if you choose someone else, my promise is still true

No matter what happens, I'll love you

Even if I have endure a million rejections to get to I do

You don't know how hard it is to pretend that the rejections don't get to me

You don't know how hard it is to know that you don't see

You don't look past the façade that I show you

You don't even notice the good deeds that I do

Your rejections still cut deep but hope compels me

Hope that one day, I won't have to set you free

Hope that one day, I'll be the one making you happy

Hope that one day, we'll be together looking back at my idiocy

But for now, I'll leave you be

I know that that'll make you happy

I love you even if you don't love me

I love you so I'm setting you free


End file.
